Dear Wine Valentine

The Wandering Palate Cambodian Correspondent, Darren Gall, rises above drowning in his sorrows on Valentine’s Day to share his wisdom on wine and love and falling out of love, being well versed in aspects.

Wine Valentine - Illustration by George Grainger-Alderidge

Each year, on the 14th of February we celebrate Valentine’s Day and each year we are challenged to find that ‘just-right’ way to say I love you to that certain ‘special’ someone in our lives.

Many say it with flowers, some prefer chocolates, others a romantic dinner in a favourite restaurant, perhaps some perfume, lingerie or sometimes jewelry. I once had a girlfriend who brought me a new wallet for Valetine’s Day -perhaps she was trying to tell me something else!

However, if your relationships last longer than most of mine then you may find that coming up with new and interesting ways to say I love you is getting a little challenging.

Never fear! This month I have decided to cast my dubious track record, (three broken marriages and countless, fruitless relationships) aside, rise up from my own emotional wreckage and turn my monthly wine piece into a ‘Dear Abby’, relationship-advice column for the lovelorn.

Dear Imbibe: “Our relationship seems to have gone a little flat, its become predictable and boring and we just seem to be going through the same routines, what can I do to put a little spontaneity back into our love life?”

Dear D. Flated:Nothing puts the spark back into a relationship like sparkling wine,there is just something about a night of hedonistic, fizzy, frothy, bubbles that makes for letting go of one’s inhibitions and acting on one’s impulse. But be warned, apparently not everyone understands the allure of Champagne, a famous case in point was at the ritzy Portobello Hotel in West London,  where one paramour filled the bath with 36 bottles of Champagne, (a snip at 36 pounds per bottle allegedly) only for the night maid to literally pull the plug before the couple returned from dinner!

Dear Imbibe: “I’m no saint but I’m also no sinner, recently my wife of 7 years accused me of having a roving eye and I want to show her that she is still the only one for me and that she is actually the apple of my eye?”

Dear Mr. O’Gler: Eve was the first and only woman for Adam and the Cuvee d’Eve Pouilly Fume is the only hope for you! This is a suave, svelt, racy and refreshing white wine with a hint of smoky complexity and sophistication, match it with oysters au naturale and your itch will be scratched!

Dear Imbibe: “My husband has become something of a boring old fart, we seldom talk anymore and he just doesn’t seem to listen to a word I say, when I suggest things we could do together he just doesn’t want to play along, please help?”

Dear N. Agger: Bava, ‘Stradivario’ Barbera di Asti is the wine you need, a deep, brooding, complex red wine from North West Italy, (Piedmonte). Sometimes misunderstood at first glance, these are wines that need time before you can penetrate their many layers and unlock their inner charms. These are wines that reward those who can be patient enough with the gift of one of the most intriguing, interesting and enjoyable red wines on the planet. Decant and breathe well before serving and you will soon be playing him like a violin!

Dear Imbibe: “Please help urgently, my wife has just accused me of cheating with another woman but, I swear it wasn’t me?”

Dear Gill T: Innocent Bystander Moscato is perhaps your only hope, sweet, frothy, pink and wickedly drinkable, she may never forgive but, turn her on to this little beauty and she may be willing to forget!

Dear Imbibe: “My story is not an original one and has been told countless times by wine tragics the world over. Due to the recent global financial crisis my girlfriend told me we wouldn’t be able to buy expensive wines anymore. I then noticed she had recently purchased some expensive make-up,naturally enough I queried her on it. She told me she still needed to buy expensive make-up to look good for me so that I would still love her, I told her I thought that’s what the wine was for –I don’t think she is coming back?”

Dear Mr. Gall: I doubt there is any hope for you but, perhaps a bottle of Beaujolais from the Saint Armor region, a wine whose ripe attractive fruitiness is as pure and honest as your intentions. Not on St. Valentine’s Day though, perhaps wait until St. Jude’s Day, the patron Saint of lost causes!



By Darren Gall | Buying Wine | Related to: ,

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